So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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