I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize