Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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