Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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