Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
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Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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