last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize