i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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