Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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