God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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