Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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