the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize