while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize