It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize