To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize