It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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