you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize