I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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