This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
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Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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