bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize