new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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