Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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