i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
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Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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