yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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