My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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