I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize