i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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