from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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