i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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