You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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