toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize