lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm having to shit out rocks
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