I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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