Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize