We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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