Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize