Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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