He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
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