i was born a porn star she said
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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