and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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