I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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