i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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