Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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