Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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