they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
whose parrot is this?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize