Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize