mondays should just be called national damage control day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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