tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize