yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize