im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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