i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize